15 Comments
User's avatar
Kelly Courtez's avatar

Omfg! I'm not a poetry fan but this one got me like nothing else! Lydia, you've got it babe xx

Lydia Fox's avatar

...this comment reminded me all over again how lucky I am to have met such forgiving, generous and amazing people on here. Thank you for being one of them Kelly 🥹❤️

Lydia Fox's avatar

Thank you sooo much! I'll certainly try. You inspire me to be more honest ❤️

Lydia Fox's avatar

Really appreciate this! I feel definitely encouraged to keep trying...been experimenting with sharing bits of my past and found this was much less intense than directly writing about it. Symbols are fun too. watch out: more cringe coming soon! 😂

Chanti's avatar

Lydia, this piece is pure truth. It takes incredible courage to look at that forced smile and name it for what it was.

How are you feeling after putting all of that into words today? Just wanted to drop in, check on you, and send you a big wave of love. No need to reply with anything deep if your battery is low; just wanted you to know I see you. ♥️♥️♥️

Chanti's avatar

That line about putting a burden down is it.

My results have been huge, but in a totally different way. I used to feel this constant urge to jump into every conversation—like with my sister, it was always back-and-forth, always needing to add my opinion or explain things. I realized recently that it was coming from a place of wanting to look good, to feel like I mattered, or to be at the center. It was just a performance. A mask.

But lately with my sister, she would be talking and I just... listened. I didn't feel the need to jump in or prove anything. Taking that 3-second pause made me realize I don't have to share every thought to be valid. Dropping that performance feels like putting down a massive weight, too.

Lydia Fox's avatar

Thank you lovely! Admittedly I wrote it across a couple of weeks, which dulled my emotions toward it. There was a little bit of anger that bubbled up in remembering how hard I had to work just to find my emotions again. But aside from that, it felt good to express it and get it out. Thank you for your support and check in, it means alot ❤️❤️❤️

Chanti's avatar

That anger bubbling up is proof your compass is fully back online! Unlearning a lifetime of numbness and fighting to feel again is absolute heavy-lifting.

Proud of you for putting it into words and getting it out. Rest easy today, lovely. ♥️♥️♥️

Lydia Fox's avatar

Good point! When I calm (alone) I do feel able to identify my emotions. Which is definitely progress I'm proud of. My next goal is to be able to feel in the heat of the moment. Soon!

Chanti's avatar

Do you remember that conversation we had about the 3-second rule? I was just thinking about it because I’ve been actively practicing the opposite end—holding back and taking that 3-second pause before I share everything—and it’s been a game changer.

How’s it been going on your end? Have you been able to practice taking those 3 seconds to just say what you're feeling in the heat of the moment?

Lydia Fox's avatar

Yesss... Me too. Do you know what I learned? Honesty is just as much for my benefit, than it is for the other person...

So after saying what I think, I feel super anxious but also free. Like a little burden was put down. I also said something to my husband once that he did not appreciate so I apologised later. I have learned not everyone is ready for "honest Lyd" and prefer "easy going Lyd"

How are your results?? I'm curious!

Glenn Winters's avatar

This is beautiful and authentic and fine.

Lydia Fox's avatar

Thank you!! 🙏🙏 🙏

Phillip Slater's avatar

It's fabulous. Especially for a first try. You should definitely write more. I feel like you've let us into your soul, just a little.

venus faye's avatar

i love love love this. heartbreaking but beautiful. please write more like this. ♥️